earie canal

I could tell you were praying. Seriously. Yes, I was very nervous and very teary-eyed (some of it having to do with my raging pregnancy hormones), but I was told to expect everything to take at least an hour (from anethestia to wake up and recovery) and Dash's nurse told me to expect maybe even an hour and a half.
But that's a whole different part of the story. Let's start at the beginning.

At 5:25 am, I was packing Dash into the van with his winter jacket shoved on his little sleepy arms (bet you didn't know you could have sleepy arms, did you. But trust me, you can!).
Right before this basically in the dark, I had to put his ear drops into his right ear, and we were ready to go.
I wrapped his little body up in his blankie and onto the road we headed. Dash sat there so quietly and content that I got a bit emotional. I was thinking, "oh, man. He totally has no idea what is coming." Yes, I know technically it's better that way, but I don't know. I feel like that's unfair and unkind. That everyone has a right to know what is going to happen to them. No, he didn't have a choice in the matter, but YES, I wanted to tell him. So as I got him out of the van at the hospital, I had a discussion about what was going to be happening.
I know he didn't have any idea what I was saying, but I felt like a better mom telling him about it.
There were 7 patients checking in at 6:00 am for surgery (not all of them were having surgery with Dash's doctors, but some did!). It was crazy busy, but as soon as they could, they called us to the surgical floor. At Children's Minneapolis, we have 2 surgical units: the main operating room and the tower (I'm not going to go into everything about the different units. Just know there are 2. Okay maybe I'll go into it a little bit. Generally, those patients having surgery in the tower are outpatient and not as serious. That's a general rule of thumb, but don't hold me to it! There are always exceptions). Dash's surgery was in the tower. I knew this ahead of time and was prepared for it. Also, it was where he had his original ear tube surgery performed.

When we got to the 3rd floor, we had a GREAT nurse (our RN). She was awesome with the 2 patients she had to check in. She flicked on the TV to PBS so that Dash would be a little distracted with all the vitals she needed to take. But she kept exclaiming that she didn't need to do that since he was such a great patient. Our RN kept commenting about how cute he was.
I'm biased, but I had to agree with her!

When our RN was almost done asking us our questions and everything, Dash had had enough in his little room and meandered into the waiting room, aka the play room. There were no other kids out there, but he was READY to play.

As he crossed the floor making himself at home, our RN asked if I knew the procedure/protocol and what to expect.
G-Mama"Yep. The anethestiaologist will come out and talk to me. Dr. T. will come out and talk to me. And then we will be brought back to get started."
Our RN "You know the routine."

Doesn't this waiting room look like fun! I was able to really play with Dash. It was exactly what I needed to remain calm and relaxed. Seriously, playing with my superstars is like therapy. (and all I was was nervous! HE was the one having surgery!) Children's does such a great job of making their patients feel welcomed and comfortable.

For a good 45 minutes, Dash had the "play"room all to himself. It was SO fun to watch him enjoy himself.

Then, the child life specialist came by and handed me a nitrous oxide mask for Dash to get comfortable with it. I gave it to him, and he immediately knew what to do with it.!

Brilliant! My son is BRILLIANT!

Did I say Brilliant? Maybe he was using his non-verbal skills to tell me what he thought!




This is Dash's little friend who he met 6 minutes before he was called back. And I told his mom that their coloring was completely opposite. One was night and one was day. I know! NOT politically correct at all, but they were so so CUTE!

Minutes before Dash went into get started, Dr. T. came out and greeted us. I love how he always ALWAYS greets his patients even if they are just babies! He makes his patients aware that he is there and that he cares. It's great! So we went over the procedure and my questions and talked about what I was consenting to. Then, he asked how I was doing. I said, "I'm a little nervous for this. I don't know why, but this is making me nervous."

He looked at me and said, "We'll take care of him."

And just before he left to go into the OR, he said it again, "We'll take care of him."

Tears sprang to my eyes and it tooke everything in me to say thank you without crying.

A minute later, the anethesiastiologist (if you don't know how to spell a word, just keep addeing letters and sooner or later the readers will get the gist of what you are trying to say. right? doesn't that work?), came over and we went over everything again. And she too said, as she was getting ready to go into the prep room, "we will take good care of him."

It was so comforting.

Dash and I were brought back to the anethestia room with a new RN and the doctor was there. She has asked if I wanted to hold him or have him be on the bed. I had been told that when you hold them, it's really hard to let them go after they are out since you are holding their lifeless body. So I opted for him to be on the bed. He is so amazingly calm. He got his nuk and his blanket and he held onto my finger as they gave him the nitrous oxide. As soon as he was starting to get heavy, they laid him down and got him ready to go into the operating room. The nurse commented that he should teach a class to other 2 year olds on how to be put under. The doctor let me kiss his hand and said that it was time for me to go back to his room. As I was leaving, she said once again, "We will take GOOD care of him."

This time I didn't stop the tears. I had to go to the bathroom anyway, so I just stayed in there a bit longer as the tears flowed and my face became splotchy red. (very attractive, let me tell you!)

The post op nurse, Jan, showed me to Dash's room and told me if I wanted to get something to eat, I should bring it back up to his room. She reiterated it would be an hour to an hour and a half.

So when I got back to his room, I ate my bagel, my banana, and read part of a chapter in my book. Jan came in then and said, "They are bringing him out already. He is going to bypass recovery."

She set her stuff up before they wheeled him into the room and said "I'm going to give you the mom lecture because I am one and I've been where you are. We are going to let him wake himself up from his anthestia. So no touching him or holding him. He'll wake up better that way."

They wheeled him in and I busied myself with something (i don't remember what), and Jan said that I was doing great. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing.

Dash woke up well and slowly. No crying at all. At one point, he shifted around a little bit and the nurse gave him his nuk and covered him with his blankie. Seriously! This was amazing! Last time, he was so agitated and upset that he couldn't calm down. This time I didn't even know he was awake until the nurse repeated herself saying that he was awake.

I finally picked him up, and sat in the rocking chair with him as he watched Curious George and Sid the Science Kid. (he so couldn't take his eyes off Sid. I set him on his bed to change his clothes and he kept peering around Jan because she was in his way!) He was unhappy with the IV in his hand, but my supervisor/friend from work and high school had told me about a trick that the Child Life Specialist had given her when her daughter was recovering from surgery.

Just cover it up. If they can't see it, it won't bother them as much.

Jan loved on him so much and said, "well, YOU'VE set the standard for the day. If all of my patients would do as well as you."

It was such a great surgery. Thank you all so much for your care and prayers!

burdened

i'm in a funk.
It just started (that I'm aware of) today.
I have a feeling it's got something to do with YHWH laying it on my heart to pray.
For what?
I am SOOOO overwhelmed with how many people need prayer.
I have friends in a really hard heartbreaking place in their lives with their kids or their homes or their marriages. Many different friends. It's not just one married couple; it's like 5 different couples that I can name right now. I'm SURE there are more.
Then, I've got Dash's surgery on Tuesday. And he's not the only one. A couple of friends have parents who are sick or nieces and nephews who are sick or their own kids are going in for surgery.
Then, I realize that I really haven't been focused in praying for Chris or my own kids (besides the quick little prayers).
So I have this burden to pray, but I'm so overwhelmed. SO overwhelmed.
And it seems like my prayers keep going around in circles. I don't really know what I want to say except that I want to say something.
I know it's not about the power of my prayer, but the power of the One I pray to. I want to be more involved in these special people's lives than just mentioning them in prayer. And because I'm so overwhelmed, I'm not even doing that! AUGH!
I think I've gotta start writing these things down and maybe I've gotta start writing my prayers too so that I'm focused.
Oh, WHO KNOWS!
See?
A funk.
Or maybe it's because I've gained 10 pounds in 10 days.

"hear" we go again

On Tuesday, Dash has surgery again. His hearing in his left ear hasn't improved since October, and Dr. T said that he could see that it has grown. He wanted to try to get Dash into surgery and the first available was Tuesday.
Thank you. I kind of wanted to try to get it done before Fourdatzky was born.
Dr. T tried to explain to me that it would be a more invasive as he was going to cut into Dash's ear a bit more to try to get a bigger tube in it.
Sure, of course, whatever it takes. I kind of just shrugged it off. I trust and really like Dr. T. I didn't have any problems with this procedure.
Then, when the pre op nurse called, she informed me that Dash would definitely have a tube put in it, but he was also having an ear canal repair.
Oh.
NOW, I get it. THAT's what Dr. T was trying to say. He IS going to put a tube in it, BUT he is also going to try to make the canal bigger. What does this mean exactly? Will he have a longer recovery? Will we have to watch more carefully for infection? Could the ear canal collapse and we would have to do major reconstructive surgery?
As I was driving home from work, I couldn't help but cry a little bit.
I know that it's not a big deal like heart surgery or cancer or anything.
But it is my baby's ear. And it is surgery. And when he wakes up, he is going to be struggling like he did last time. Oh, also, there is no guarantee this will actually work. I HOPE it does. I won't even tell you what happens next if it doesn't.
My little Dash is safely in our Savior's hands. I have to put all my trust in that because Dash is just entrusted to me for now. He is not mine but my Savior's. I cannot worry about what tomorrow might bring.
If you think of him, please pray for Dr. T. and Dash on Tuesday, February 9.

a cubbie quote

1 John 4:10
"God loved us and sent his......pants."

Have I ever mentioned that the word pants is my FAVORITE word!?!

a morning funny and an afternoon funny

Chris didn't sleep well last night due to a little girl who woke up inthe middle of the night and "needed" to sleep with mommy and daddy (consequently, I slept great!).

Anyway, since Princess Pea caused some poor sleep for Daddy, I asked Wordgirl (while I was cuddling with her and playing peek-a-boo with Dash) to be a big helper for Daddy while I was at work.

"Okay." pause "I'm not going to change any poopy diapers, though."

he he he he!

This afternoon, when I called home to ask Chris to put the hotdish (for those of you NOT in MN, you call it a casserole) in the oven, he put both Princess Pea and Wordgirl on the phone.
Talking to Princess Pea is quite interesting as I really don't know how to guide the conversation, or if she is doing all the talking, I have NO IDEA what she is saying!
When Wordgirl got on the phone, I asked her if she had changed any poopy diapers.
"NO!"
mama--maybe when you are 5.
wordgirl--NO! Not when I'm 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 or 10 or 11 or 12 or 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 or 18 or 19 or 20 (I was hoping she would stop around the time she would have her OWN babies since I certainly will not be changing her babies' diapers for her! ).
She did stop then, but continued with, "Because I don't want to get poop all over my hands!"

Oh, little girl! You don't know the half of it! Poop is the least of your worries!

tenderhearted blessing

I think I have the sweetest little/getting bigger by the day girl ever.

She is so great with both her sister and her brother.

She has a very soft heart and cries easily.

Today, I completely learned how WONDERFUL it is that she cries at the drop of a hat.

Today I walked out to the end of the driveway to throw away a poopy diaper in the garbage can that was waiting for the truck.

I was doing this on my way out to the car to go to work with a backpack on my back. My bag is full of cararmel from a McDonald's apples and caramel pack. GROSS! It was NASTY.

So I emptied my bag out and filled my gigantic backpack.

I had that on my back on my walk out to the garbage can. Just as I reached the garbage can, I lost my footing, and I couldn't compensate because of the bookbag.

DOWN I went. Down! Down! Down!

On my back and bottom.

I am 7 months pregnant.

So I freaked out.

Yes, it hurt like CRAZY, but I started crying hysterically because I had felt my belly lurch up and then down..

There I was at the end of my driveway (right next to the road) lying in the snow, sobbing.

All I could think was "how am I going to get back to the house?"

Not long after I fell (although it felt like FOREVER), I saw Chris come running out of the house. He reached me at the same time a super nice neighbor/lady walking on the other side of the street did. It was so nice of her. She gathered my keys and my lunch out of the snow for me. She was so sweet!

Chris helped me up and I just stood there crying because I was so scared. "I'm so scared for the baby."

We got into the house and Wordgirl was crying. The other superstars were curious about what was happening, but Wordgirl wouldn't stop crying. She was scared.

After Princess Pea and Wordgirl gave me their pig and quilt to cuddle with on the chair, I was able to ask Chris how he knew I had fallen.

"'Wordgirl' started bawling so I asked her what was wrong, and she said, 'Mommy just fell down.'"

It's not like she saved my life, but her love for me is so precious. I am so BLESSED to have her as my daughter.

I'm not giving this one away! EVER!

emotional

I am struggling with sounding arrogant. I do not want to be one of those people who thinks she has all the answers and comes across that way. I may be secure in my faith and I may think that I have faith in the ONLY God, but in no way do I think I am better than anyone. I am not. I don't know how to share my faith without sounding like a know-it-all. Seriously, my posts about being sold out are totally where my heart is, but I don't know HOW to share without sounding arrogant.
With that said, I also am enjoying posting about what I am learning in Isaiah. This is NOT to say that I totally comprehend what the chapter is about. Since I am dedicated to it and have been asking Him to, I believe that YHWH is showing me more about Himself. I don't think that I have all the answers. I may not even be right. If you think something else about each chapter I post about, PLEASE comment and let me know. I am not the end all be all of Isaiah. I don't even KNOW Hebrew, and I totally rely on the English translation. What I am sharing here is just what I've observed and interpreted. I would love to hear what you think.

image courtesy of http://oneyearbibleimages.com/isaiah43_2.jpg



At Christmastime, I was baking one last batch of Christmas cookies. Wordgirl was very excited about these cookies. I had used a baking stone from Pampered Chef which "requires" using the wire handle "attachment." Wordgirl was VERY excited as she smelled the cookies, so when they came out of the oven, she couldn't help herself. She was drawn to their scent and to their appearance. She looked closely at the cookies, trying to sniff in all the goodness. Little did she know that the metal handle was right under her nose.

I heard a scream of pain and turned and looked and saw her fingers up by her mouth.

"Oh, no," I thought, "she has burned her fingers!"

So in a panic, I grabbed her fingers and started the water in the kitchen sink. When I looked at her again, her other hand was up by her lips. Then, it dawned on me. She had burned her lips, so as the water was running into the sink, I hoisted her up and laid her on the counter intending to stick her whole head under the faucet.

Suddenly, I realized what I was doing and stopped myself. (good thing for Wordgirl's sake) "I can't stick her whole FACE under the water."

So my quick thinking brain grabbed a washcloth (you know, the kitchen ones that ALWAYS smell even before you get them wet), got it wet and stuck it on her lip. Little did I know that she had burned the sensitive spot under her nose. However, as time passed and she had the cold (stinky) washcloth on her face, it got a lot better. But not before I noticed a big burn under her nose.

That was pretty scary and a little sad because all she wanted to do was look at the cookies.
But she wasn't able to see all the dangers by putting her face so close to something so hot because she was so lured by the lovely scent.
She KNOWS the rules. She knows that she shouldn't be near hot things. She's usually so cautious. And I was so scared that I wasn't the most gentle person with her.
She thought I was mad at her.
And truth be told, when I thought she had TOUCHED the stone, I WAS. When I learned she hadn't, my heart broke, but I was in such a panic, I still didn't come across as loving.
However, my heart was breaking and I WAS loving her (and I still do). But I had a problem I had to deal with and it concerned her greatly as I was trying to help her.

So with that said, I would like to turn your attention to Isaiah 9 and the beginning of 10.

The chapter begins telling us that in the middle of all the despair happening in Israel, YHWH has a plan for peace and joy and hope. (like I had a plan that we would eat those delicious cookies when they had cooled)
But then it goes on to tell us that the people weren't following YHWH and in everything that happened, "his anger did not turn away and his hand was still raised."
I don't know how accurate this is, but after praying about this chapter and trying to understand it, I am starting to think that YHWH's anger was more like what I was feeling when Wordgirl burned her face.
His anger is real, but it's more about the stupid choices (like Wordgirl's choice to be near a hot baking stone) and the pain (like the burn on her face) that His people are putting themselves through than actually AT His people. He has a problem that He has to deal with and it greatly concerns them as He is trying to help them.

When I was helping Wordgirl, I was so emotional. It ranged from being scared to anger to heartbreak to determination to sadness. We are made in YHWH's image, so I believe it's fair to say that He feels those things too. However, I have a hard time thinking He would be scared. He's YHWH. But the anger and heartbreak and determination and sadness are not foreign to Him.

I am so happy that we have an emotional YHWH. I wanted to call this post extreme because I think He is extremely emotional, but as much as I love the word extreme, I use it more from a negative perspective than a positive one. YHWH did make us extreme and it's okay to be extreme. When we are extremely loving and extremely sad and extremely dependant, that's who we were made to be because we are made in His image.